


Take All of Your Doubts (You Can Throw 'Em Out)

by FallingLikeThis



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Depressed Louis, Friends to Lovers, Harry Styles is Marcel, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nerd Harry, Punk Louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-05
Updated: 2013-12-17
Packaged: 2018-01-03 14:05:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1071328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallingLikeThis/pseuds/FallingLikeThis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis Tomlinson is a punk who figures he's just destined to be alone. Harry Styles is his nerdy best friend who is always there to pick him up when he's down. Somewhere along the way feelings grow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Before the Fall

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea if this is any good or just utter crap. Hopefully it's decent.
> 
> Title is from "Only Place I Call Home" by Every Avenue.

Louis Tomlinson walked the halls of Hedley High, the picture of indifference. He strolled with his head held high, eyes lined with charcoal eyeliner, tattoos peaking out the sleeves and collar of his favorite band tee, a smug smile adorning his face. However, he felt neither smug, nor indifferent as he walked past the people who, on a daily basis, called him names like "freak" and "fag". The names didn't bother him nearly so much as the fact that the people who shouted them had made absolutely no effort to get to know him before casting judgements. It wasn't like he was new or anything. He'd been around since year ten when he'd moved from Doncaster so they'd had plenty of time to attempt conversation. And it wasn't like he was picky who he hung out with. If he was, he'd likely be short one adorably nerdy best friend as Louis, who looked every bit the punk people thought he was, was best friends with the president of the audio-visual club.

Harry Styles was the first and only person at Hedley who hadn't let Louis' appearance deter him from getting to know the lad.

Harry had walked up and asked to sit at Louis' empty table at lunch on Louis' first day. Louis had been surprised, to say the least, at the sight of the green-eyed boy with slicked back hair and glasses. He wore a sweatervest and smiled and said 'please', ever so politely, and Louis' heart of stone had cracked a little. He'd nodded quietly and Harry had sat down and started immediately rambling about the life-cycle of the fruit fly. Louis had just sat there listening with a smirk on his face until he'd gotten a bit bored and had clamped a hand over the other boy's mouth.

Harry looked at Louis with wide eyes, surprised at the action.

"You were rambling, mate," Louis explained, eyes shining with amusement he just couldn't bring himself to hide. "I don't care about fruit flies and shit so, what do you say we find a new topic of conversation, yeah?"

Louis removed his hand after Harry had nodded.

"Thanks. Most people just let me ramble and embarrass myself," Harry said with a thoughtful look at his new friend.

"Anytime. And I mean that.  _Anytime_ you ramble I will _not_ hesitate to shut you up," Louis had assured with a playful smirk.

"Could you, maybe, just interrupt me next time?" Harry asked.

"Mate, you were talking so fast, I couldn't get a word in. It was cover your mouth with my hand or kiss you," Louis answered watching Harry closely for his reaction.

Harry turned an interesting shade of pink when he realized what Louis had said.

" _Oh_ , so...you're...you like..boys?" Harry asked clumsily, still a little flushed.

"I'm open-minded," was all Louis said as he took another bite of the sandwich his mother had lovingly packed for his lunch.

"Oh. That's cool," Harry said coughing a little, nervous. "I like girls so...if at all possible, I think, maybe don't do the kissing thing unless it's an absolute emergency, yeah?"

Louis laughed at that. A  _real_ , genuine laugh like he hadn't done in a while. He grabbed Harry's shoulder to steady himself and told the other boy that he thought this might be the start of a beautiful friendship. _  
_

And it was.

Harry and Louis got on even better than typical best mates. They were rarely apart excepting the times that they had to go to classes that they didn't share. 

In the two years that they'd know each other, their personalities might have affected each other's a little. Louis had started to take school more seriously as he and Harry did their homework together every night. At first, Louis had just let Harry do his own homework while Louis had lounged around being lazy. After a while, though, it didn't seem fair that Harry was suffering through it alone so Louis had grudgingly grabbed his books and joined Harry at the kitchen table. As for Harry, a little of Louis' 'I don't give a fuck' attitude may have rubbed off on him. At least, where their fellow students were concerned. Harry didn't know where people got off calling Louis gay. The only person Louis had ever told was Harry and _he_ had never said anything. Louis hadn't even said he was gay, just that he didn't care about gender. Maybe it was the eye-liner or the fact that a guy was the only person he hung out with but people had made up their mind about Louis. And since Harry was the guy that Louis was always with, of course, that meant that Harry must be gay, too. That sort of thing would have really bothered Harry before he'd met Louis. But now, he had Louis as his best mate in the world and everyone who made snap judgements about the two of them could go fuck themselves.

Once, the two boys had been talking in the hallways on the way out of school at the end of the day when someone had knocked Harry's books from his arms and yelled "Go to Hell, fags!" at him and Louis.

Louis had started to go after them. They could say what they wanted about him but he wouldn't stand for people talking bad about Harry. But Harry had simply grabbed Louis' wrist and pulled him down to help gather Harry's books and papers with a confident "they're not worth the hassle". Louis had watched Harry as he helped pick up the texts and Harry had given him a genuine smile. Louis knew Harry enough to tell his real smiles from the fake ones. The fake ones didn't reach his eyes making them shine a bit brighter than usual. They didn't make his dimples show quite so obviously. The smile Harry gave him was definitely real and Louis felt the stone in his chest crumble a little more.

It was this moment that made Louis realize what the last two years had been leading up to.

It was this moment that made Louis realize that he was completely fucked.

 


	2. Promises

It's been weeks since Louis realized that he was ass-backwards falling for Harry and now that Louis knows, he can't stop looking and touching and  _wanting_. And Harry isn't helping things.

It's their turn to spend the afternoon at Harry's house  and, of course, Harry  _had_ to stumble into a mud puddle on the way so that now he's had a shower and he's walking around with only a towel, looking for something comfortable to throw on. His hair is still dripping wet in the loose, curly waves that Louis favors but Harry would never wear to school because he doesn't want to give people  _more_ ammo to tease him with (nevermind that he's totally hot with them because he's Harry and doesn't realize just how attractive he actually is). 

Louis is trying to keep his eyes on the book he's been assigned to read in English as he  lounges on Harry's bed but they keep drifting up to catch the muscular plains of Harry's back or the sexy pout of his lips when he can't find his favorite sweats in yet another place he's looked. Louis bites his lip  _hard_ and forces his eyes back to his book though he knows it's useless because he's been on the same page for the last fifteen minutes.

It's when Harry leans over him to see if his sweats have fallen behind the bed, drops of water dripping on Louis as well as sliding their way down Harry's chest _right in front of Louis face,_ that Louis figures it's time to go home. He pushes Harry aside so that he can get up before he does something stupid like licking every last drop of water off of Harry's body and rushes to gather his things.

"Lou!" Harry cries in surprise as he hits the bed and bounces once or twice. By the time Harry's eyes land on Louis though, Louis' got his messenger bag over his shoulder and his hand on the door.

"Sorry, Harry. I just remembered that I promised Lottie I'd help her do something today. Gotta go! Talk later!"

Before Harry can protest or offer to come along and help Louis is gone, rushing home to have a nice wank followed by a good wallow in guilt and self-pity. And if he doesn't answer Harry's texts or calls that night, well, he'll make it up to him tomorrow.

Except. He doesn't.

He doesn't mean to do it. He _doesn't_. He doesn't mean to leave Harry to eat lunch alone. Doesn't mean to cause the sad gleam in his eyes that fucking tears Louis' heart to pieces. He doesn't  _mean_ to avoid Harry. The last thing Louis wants is to hurt him but Louis doesn't want to hurt either and that's all he's been doing lately. So, he gives himself a few days to try and get over his best friend. He searches for someone to fill the forbidden space that Harry holds in his heart. But, as hard as he tries, there's no one. Because the space in his heart is very definitely Harry-shaped and, well, no one but a Harry will fit there.

It's been 4 days since Louis raced out of Harry's house when Louis resigns himself to the fact that Harry's it for him. He's in love with a boy that he can never have. And, well, looking at Harry's lone, slumped figure in the canteen as he sits silently eating, seeing the circles under his eyes that Louis is likely the cause of, Louis thinks he can be okay with that. He'll let his heart break into a million pieces, a thousand different times as long as it means he'll never hurt Harry like this again.

"Can I sit here?" Louis asks when he reaches Harry's table.

Harry looks up at him in surprise. There's so much sadness in his eyes that Louis can't help but add a quiet "please".

"Are you sure you want to?" Harry asks, only a tad bit bitter.

"Of course I do, Harry," Louis says sinking into the seat next to Harry. "I'm sorry. Okay? I'm so sorry I shut you out. I just. I had some things I needed to sort out but I'm done now and it'll never happen again. Okay?"

"You promise?" Harry asks and there's that pout that Louis desperately wants to kiss from his lips. But  _no._ No thinking like that.

"I promise," Louis answers and Harry lunges at him enveloping him in a warm hug.

"I didn't know what I did wrong," Harry mumbles into Louis' shoulder and Louis can tell from the timber of his voice that Harry is trying not to cry.

"You didn't do anything, Harry. You're perfect. It was me. It was all me, I promise. I'm so sorry I made you feel like that." Louis reassures him, hugging tighter as he does.

"Fags!" someone yells across the canteen and both boys move to flip them off. The synchronicity of the move causes both boys to laugh, lightening the moment.

"Come to mine after school?" Louis asks tentatively.

"Yeah." Harry answers with a smile. It's small but genuine and Louis relaxes a bit.

A few minutes later when they're eating their lunch. Louis catches Harry throwing curious looks his way.

"What is it, Haz?" Louis asks unable to hide a smile at how endearingly bashful Harry can be.

"Oh." Harry flushes. He'd thought he was being subtle. "Um. I was just wondering if I could ask...about the things you needed to figure out?"

"Best if you don't, mate," Louis answers with a grin that looks (and feels) more like a grimace.

Harry nods and leaves it. And that's why Louis thinks they'll be okay. Because Harry will never push him for more than he's willing to share.

But he's wrong. They're not. Entirely okay. 

And Harry's not okay with that.

After suffering through several days of Louis being there but  _not_ , days where he's expecting his best friend to be his best friend again and only getting half of what he wants, Harry has had enough. Louis had promised that things were going to be okay again but he's not delivering.

Harry had planned on waiting until they got back to his house that afternoon to confront Louis. And he really should just wait, there's only one class left to go but as they near the janitor's closet and he realizes how distant they are even as they walk in the hallway, he can't help himself. He grabs Louis by the wrist and tugs him into the closet, swiftly closing the door behind them.

Louis doesn't know what's happening. One second he was walking to his class with Harry and the next he's being dragged into the janitor's closet and Harry's invading his personal space and, fuck, just like that he's got a woody. It takes a few seconds for him to get past that last part and realize that Harry is talking to him.

"We're not leaving this closet, Lou, until you tell me what the hell is going on with you," Harry says more concerned than harsh even as he fists Louis' shirt.

"What are you talking about, Harry?" Louis asks bewildered. He thought they were doing fine. He was being a little more reserved about sitting too close or touching Harry too much lately but he hadn't expected Harry to notice that.

"You're distant, Lou," Harry explains, sadness seeping into his voice. "I thought you'd figured out whatever was bothering you before but it's still almost like you're not there. You don't tell me anything, you act like you don't want to be around me anymore. Have I _done_ something?"

"Harry, no," Louis wraps Harry in his arms and holds him tight, shifting his hips to keep Harry from feeling his erection. "I'm sorry. I guess I don't have as good a handle on things as I thought I did. I didn't realize what I was doing but I'll fix this. I'll make it up to you, I swear."

"Why can't you just tell me what wrong?" Harry pulls away to look into Louis eyes.

"Because it hurts, Haz," Louis says quietly and Harry can hear the truth in his words.

"I hate not being able to help, Lou. You're my best friend. I _want_ to be able to help you," Harry says tugging at Louis' sleeve. 

"I know, Harry," Louis giving his friend a sad smile. "I promise, as soon as I think I can, I'll tell you everything, alright?"

Harry pulls Louis into another bone-crushing hug. 

"I'm holding you to that."

Of course, Louis doesn't think he'll ever be able to tell Harry. But Harry doesn't need to know that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know, I won't be able to update again until Monday.


	3. Better Together

Louis pulls out all the stops this time.

When he walks home with Harry after school, he doesn't keep himself at arm's length. Instead, he throws an arm around Harry's shoulder and makes cheesy jokes the likes of which only Harry would ever think to laugh at. Harry still seems a bit unsure though, like he's afraid that Louis will break again or push him away, and Louis hates that he's made Harry uncertain of their friendship.

When they do their homework, Louis asks Harry for help with his maths worksheet saying that he hasn't been able to concentrate lately and so he's missed the notes and doesn't understand what they are supposed to be doing. The truth is that Louis' paid more attention to the teacher in class this past week than he ever has before so that he's had an excuse to keep his eyes off of Harry in the seat just in front of him. Still, he lets Harry "teach" him the techniques he already knows so that he has an excuse to sit as close as possible. And it's as much for his sake as it is for Harry's. He hadn't realized just how much he'd  _missed_ being close to Harry in his struggle to keep from getting too close. Harry cheers when Louis finishes the worksheet and he sees that Louis' gotten every problem right, making Louis realize what and absolute tit he's been and he pulls Harry into an embrace that shocks them both with the urgency of it. But Harry just wraps his arms around Louis in response and lets him siphon Harry's warmth and strength for as long as he needs to (which ends up being a pretty long time). Harry doesn't complain.

About the time they finish all of their homework, Harry's mum, Anne, gets home and asks if Louis is staying for dinner. The way that she asks tells Louis that she knows Louis' hurt her boy and she'd not entirely thrilled with him. Louis hesitates. Harry doesn't.

"Of course, he's staying," Harry says like it's a forgone conclusion even though they haven't talked about it. "In fact, can he stay the night? Please??"

Both Harry's mum and Louis look at Harry questioningly. Harry simply shrugs under the weight of their stares.

"We have some catching up to do."

Since it's Friday night and she just wants her son happy again (and she can never say no to Harry when he's looking at her like he is), Anne agrees to let Louis stay. When she sees Harry's enthusiastic grin, dimples shining, and the grateful look in Louis' eyes she relaxes a bit, confident she's made the right decision.

As it turns out,  _catching up_ means they watch whatever Harry wants to until the early morning hours and Louis isn't allowed to complain. He sits through fuzzy rom-coms and a handful of episodes of Friends with Harry pressed in close and, for once, he lets himself enjoy the closeness and doesn't think about how it means something different for each of them. When it's early morning, just enough so that the moon has moved to make way for the sun's grand entrance but she's still taking her precious time getting ready, Louis' eyes are starting to hurt from the strain of staring at the television and Harry is asleep, snoring lightly with his head in Louis' lap. Louis sits through to the end of the episode they were watching but his eyes are on Harry as Louis runs his fingers through sleep-crushed curls, admiring the soft vulnerability that shows on his best friend's sleeping face. And just when Louis could have sworn he couldn't possibly love Harry any more, he feels his heart swell to make just a bit more room.

Once the episode of Friends is over, Louis gently extricates himself from under Harry's head, replacing his lap with an extra fluffy cushion.  He covers Harry with a loose blanket and heads upstairs to crash on Harry's bed. He doesn't even wake up an hour later when Harry crawls in beside him, having gotten cold and lonely on the couch. Nor does he stir when Harry wraps an arm around him and cuddles in close. And if his dreams turn a little bit sweeter, he won't know why until morning.

Waking up in Harry's arms is even better than Louis had imagined. 

That is, until he realizes the effect it's having on his body and he quickly jumps out of the bed to go fix his little problem (ok, maybe not so little) in a nice hot shower. 

When Louis reenters Harry's room, Harry is awake and smiling and Louis thinks he can do this. His wanting Harry can be his dirty little secret, complete with a stealthy wank here and there when the occasion, er, arises. He can deal with that as long as he gets to see that smile.

One night turns into the whole weekend. It's two days full of movies and FIFA and popcorn fights that end in Anne lecturing the two boys while they fight off giggles and then having to clean up the mess they made. (Louis still maintains that it was worth it.) They bake brownies, then promptly eat every last one, and watch Doctor Who while tossing M&M's at each other and trying to catch them in their mouths. Louis can't believe he'd forgotten how  _good_ it was before he fell in love with Harry and started pulling away because he was afraid of what that meant. And now that he's done being a complete and utter prat, it's even better because he gets to have all the good bits of their friendship  _and_ he gets to love Harry (and Louis thinks, really, that there's no better feeling in the world than loving Harry). He doesn't have to fight it or try to do anything about it. He can just let it be. And, for a while, everything is perfect.

 

 

 

Of course, life always has a wrench in her hands and she's just looking for a place to throw it. :*


	4. Desperate Measures

The first sign that Louis' plan to do nothing about his feelings for Harry wasn't going to work was the wet dreams. Louis hadn't had a wet dream since he was 14 but they had recently made an unwelcome reappearance in Louis' life.

He thought he'd been been doing well just being Harry's best friend who might also happen to be in love with him. He wasn't struggling to not kiss Harry anymore (much). He'd been getting plenty of contact cuddling with Harry during movies and their favorite television shows, and sneaking away for a quick tug in the bathroom when Harry was unintenionally being too sexy for Louis to handle. He'd thought he was handling things just fine. Apparently, his body had other plans.

Harry was staying over at Louis' for the weekend the first time it happened. Thankfully, Harry had rolled out of the bed and onto the floor, not waking from the dead sleep he was in when he fell. Needless to say, Louis woke up sticky.

He remembers the dream clearly because it's mostly the same one each time with maybe a slight variation.

 

~@~

 

 _Louis and Harry are watching Pirate Radio for the five billionth time when Harry shifts so that instead of his head being on Louis' shoulder, it's resting in his lap. Which is fine. Harry falls asleep like that all the time, Louis thinks nothing of it. But when the movie gets to Louis' favorite part and he goes to pat Harry's head to make sure he's paying attention, he realizes that Harry's not being as still as he had thought. He looks down to see Harry's head bobbing on his dick. Mouth watering, he tangles his fingers in Harry's still slick hair and rides it out until he comes_ (which is when Louis wakes up).

 

~@~

 

The dreams made Louis tense up at first and pull away again just the smallest bit but the second he noticed Harry noticing, he forced himself to stop. He didn't like with worried gleam in Harry's eyes so he determined that he wouldn't let the dreams get to him. And he hasn't.  _There_ , crisis averted.

 

But, then, his journal goes missing.

Normally Louis wouldn't have bothered keeping a journal but his mum had made him go to a therapist when his step-dad (the only father he'd really known) had left and the doctor had recommended the journal as a therapeutic device. So, he's kept one. And now it's gone.

Harry notices that Louis is really jumpy and skittish around him after his journal has been misplaced. He keeps throwing Harry what looks like guilty glances when they are together and Harry is starting to worry for his friend. Of course, then, one of Louis' littlest sisters returns it (with a few empty pages torn out for drawing pretty pictures on) and Louis and Harry both breathe a sigh of relief hoping everything can go back to normal.

And they get their wish. Until Harry walks in on Louis having a wank in the shower and moaning Harry's name.

 

It was getting a little late when Louis left Harry's house and both boys were tired so neither noticed Louis leaving his Physics book behind complete with questions he'd given up on earlier and promised to try again later (Harry wouldn't let him quit until he'd promised to attempt them again later).  When Harry saw it, an hour after Louis left, sitting on the bar in his kitchen, he figured the best thing he could do was return it right away so that Louis wouldn't be behind in his class. 

That's how Harry ends up at Louis' house at 9:30pm. 

Louis' mother, Jay, opens the door, smiling once she sees it's Harry.

"Harry, sweetheart, what are you doing here?" she asks sweetly.

"Louis forgot his Physics book. He still has some work to do in it, otherwise I'd just give it to him in the morning," Harry explains holding up the book for Jay to see.

Jay yawns, nodding her head and gesturing Harry inside.

"Alright, love. I think Louis' in the shower but you can go drop it on his bed. I'm going on to bed. You can show yourself out when you're done," she says figthing off another yawn as Harry nods at her. She turns and walks upstairs, Harry following until he reaches Louis' room.

He knocks on Louis' door lightly to make sure that he's not going to walk in on Louis changing or anything before cautiously opening it and walking in, closing the door behind him.

He hears water running in Louis' bathroom and sits the book on Louis' bed, moving to Louis' desk and stealing a loose sheet of paper to leave Louis a note on. He's searching for a pen when he thinks he hears his name being called. From the bathroom.

"Lou?" Harry calls out walking slowly toward the bathroom. He hears it again once he's right at the door so he turns the knob and the door swings open. 

"Mmm, Harry." He hears Louis moan and it hits Harry what's happening.

He doesn't mean to say anything but before he can stop himself he's calling out again. "Lou?"

Louis stops abruptly and rips the shower curtain out of the way to see Harry standing, shocked in his bathroom doorway.

"Fuck!" Louis swears as Harry comes to his senses and moves to leave.

Louis turns off the water and grabs his towel, wrapping it around his waist as quickly as he can and running after Harry.

"Harry, wait!" Louis yells and grabs Harry's arm both relieved and terrified that he hasn't gotten further than the door of Louis' room. Louis pulls Harry back and turns so that he's blocking Harry's escape route. "Please, just let me explain, okay?"

Harry stands there shell-shocked going through the past few months in his mind and suddenly everything makes sense. The way Louis pulled away from him and how he acted when his journal was missing and why he was making so many trips to the bathroom. Harry stares at Louis, not really able to focus on him,  as Louis cries and tries not to let his best friend walk away from him.

"Please don't hate me, Harry. I couldn't live with that. You can't hate me, okay? I need you. You're my best friend and I love you. Well, I mean, I love you as a best friend but I love you as more than a friend too but I'll stop, I swear. Just don't _mmmmph...._ " Louis's words come to an abrupt halt as Harry invades his personal space, slotting his lips against Louis' rather suddenly.

When Harry pulls away, he's blushing and Louis is looking at him with wide eyes and an expression of surprise.

"What was that for?" Louis asks when he thinks he can speak again.

Harry gives him a cute little smirk.

"You were rambling."


	5. You're the Only Place I've Ever Called My Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always enjoy knowing both sides of the story. ;)

So, it turns out, Harry was never quite as straight as he made himself out to be.

 

~@~

 

 **_Come on, Harry_ ** _, the boy thought to himself as he ran a nervous hand down the front of his sweatervest in an attempt to smooth any wrinkles while staring at the new kid. **You're a lot of things but a coward isn't one of them. The worst thing that can happen is he'll turn out to be a prick and therefore not worthy of your time.**_

_Harry took a deep, steadying breath. **You'll never know if you don't give him a chance.**_

_**  
**Exhaling slowly, Harry squared his shoulders and took the first step in the direction of the new kid's lunch table. The rest came easily after that. Once Harry had made up his mind about doing something, there was no stopping him._

_"Erm, would you mind...er, can I sit here please?" Harry stuttered, inwardly rolling his eyes at himself. **Way to botch the first impression, Styles.**_

_Louis, as he would soon find out was the lad's name, had looked him over and for the briefest moment Harry had thought he was going to be rejected. But then, Louis had simply nodded and Harry felt his shoulders relax because relief_. _So, Harry sat. Unfortunately, the minute he opened his mouth he could not get it to shut again._

_He doesn't even know why the first words out of his mouth were about fruitflies but as hard as he tried, he couldn't stem the flow._

_**Oh, shit. Word diarrhea. Stop it, you stupid, stupid mouth! Please?!? He's going to think I'm an idiot. Abort mission. Abort!**  
_

_**  
**Of course, Harry really should have known. This was not a new occurrence for him. He could see Louis smirking and he just knew that the boy was thinking about what a twat Harry was. And then, Louis' hand was over his mouth._

_**Oh god, he's touching me.** Harry thought but then Louis opened his mouth to speak and as much as Harry didn't relish the thought of being told what a loser he was, he couldn't help but pay attention.  
_

_"You were rambling, mate," Louis explained, no doubt because Harry's eyes looked like they were about to pop out of his skull in suprise. Louis proceeded to ask, ever so eloquently, if they could change the subject._

_Harry could have cried. He really could. Because Louis didn't tell him to get lost. And as embarrassing as the last few minutes had been, it seemed like Louis was actually going to accept him. Maybe even let Harry be his friend. And it gave Harry new confidence._

_"Thanks. Most people just let me ramble and embarrass myself," Harry had said wondering if there was anything that would make Louis walk away from him. Well, probably if he knew Harry had a crush on him. That might do the trick. Best to keep it to himself then._

_"Anytime. And I mean that. Anytime you ramble I will not hesitate to shut you up," Louis had said playfully._

_Harry made a mental note to ramble more often. Well, maybe not. It wouldn't do to get an erection in front of his new maybe friend, now would it? The thought made Harry nervous._

_"Could you, maybe, just interrupt me next time?" Harry had asked hoping to avoid the whole erection thing if at all possible._

_"Mate, you were talking so fast, I couldn't get a word in. It was cover your mouth with my hand or kiss you."_

_Well, his thoughts on the erection issue were starting to become a reality. Harry couldn't help the mental image that popped into his head of Louis' lips on his and his hands on Harry's hips and his...but then, Harry saw Louis staring at him and flushed a bit, thinking he'd been caught picturing them together. He squirmed a bit realizing blood had started making it's way to his lower regions but he couldn't dwell on it for more than half a second when he saw the nerves behind Louis' stare and recognized Louis' previous statement for the confession that it actually was._

_" Oh, so...you're...you like...boys?" Harry stuttered wanting to make sure that he'd read the situation correctly.  **Please say yes.**_

_"I'm open-minded," Louis said going back to his sandwich. Harry thought that maybe the way he'd stuttered out the question had given Louis the wrong impression about Harry's feelings on the matter and was quick to rectify the situation._

_"Oh. That's cool," Harry said, coughing to keep his mouth from letting something bad out, like how stupid Harry already was for Louis. Something worse came out instead. "I like girls so...if at all possible, I think, maybe don't do the kissing thing unless it's an absolute emergency, yeah?"_

_Harry could have smacked himself. He winced internally. **Sure, ruin absolutely any chance you might have had.**_

_Harry was startled from his dreary thoughts by Louis' loud laughter. He's put a hand on Harry's shoulder, giving it a squeeze even as he steadied himself to keep from falling over. And Harry couldn't help but smile at that. When Louis said he thought this might be the start of a beautiful friendship, Harry's smile grew impossibly brighter._

_Louis was always around after that and Harry couldn't help the slow descent into loving Louis Tomlinson that followed. That's why it was so difficult for Harry when Louis had started acting weird. Because, by that time, every beat of Harry's heart tapped out Louis' name against his bones, every breath from Harry's lips was a silent call to Louis' heart to maybe, possibly try to beat for him as well. If only he had known that it already was._

_~@~_

_  
_Harry does his best to explain all of this to Louis late on a Thursday night in Louis' room as the boy stares back at him, standing in front of his bedroom door in only a towel.

"You  _twat,_ " Louis says as he steps forward and shoves Harry so hard stumbles backwards, landing on his back on Louis' bed.

Harry looks up at Louis, hurt flashing through his eyes at Louis' reaction. But then Louis is straddling Harry's hips, towel dangerously close to falling off.

"You should have said something sooner," Louis says before attacking Harry's lips with his own.

And Louis knows, even as Harry lets him lick into his mouth, that every swipe of Harry's tongue, every grasp he makes on Louis' bare flesh is saying  _I could say the same to you_.

Harry doesn't go back home that night. Louis talks him into skipping school the next day as well, shocked when Harry agrees because he's never gotten Harry to skip before. It's a Friday so they know they won't miss much anyway. It becomes another  _HarryandLouis_ weekend but this time it's different for obvious reasons. They still throw popcorn at each other as they fight over what to watch on Netflix, laughing when Louis' mother sighs in exasperation at the mess she's going to pretend to make them clean but really end up doing most of it herself but they also spend the weekend getting to know each other's bodies, reveling in the feeling that they  _belong to each other_ now.

Monday, as they walk the halls, fingers interlocked, they don't hear the derogatory slurs thrown at them or see the stares of their classmates. And if they did, as usual, they wouldn't give a fuck. They have each other. And that's all they need.


End file.
